This patient wanted to share her story to inspire others. She travelled to London from her country in Africa to find answers to her pain problem.
Overcoming a pain problem requires understanding that informs practices you use each day, through the day, whilst living life the best way you can. In other words, you may have parameters to work to right now, but these will grow as you develop and build wellness, together with the specific exercises and strategies you use to get better. It is a learning process. Nothing happens in isolation as we are all on a timeline with what is happening now impacting upon the next moment and so on.
Many people do not realise or actualise their potential. We have much more ‘say’ in what happens than is commonly thought. Understanding, awareness, patience and compassion are all key ingredients for gathering insight into what is really happening now, the best actions to take and how to carve out a way onwards that is meaningful.
This is the work of overcoming pain by addressing the needs in ourselves and our lives concurrent with building wellness (resilience, outlook, attention and generosity).
Here are her words:
Hi everyone, my story begun in October 2016. I woke up one morning partially ready to go to work and I noticed a slight pain in my butt, I thought nothing of it and went to work. The next day I was limping but I still ignored the pain because I had a lot of things to take care of at work. What would they do without me in the office? duh… absolutely nothing. The pain kept increasing and within a week I was paralyzed by pain and completely immobile. The pain was so severe in my left leg that moving any other part of my body (eyes and mouth excluded) caused excruciating pain, so I had to lie still. I still get emotional thinking about the day I was taken to the hospital, because the pain was so bad I had several blank moments I fought against because I didn’t want to faint and cause more injury. It was tough but we made it to the hospital eventually.
At first the doctors thought I was suffering sciatica but after a couple of days they saw that the medication did absolutely nothing for me except put me to sleep for long hours. So, I started a series of tests, blood tests, scans, x-rays and MRI all of which were very traumatizing because of the pain and the village it took to help me from one point to the other. Eventually I was diagnosed with transverse myelitis. It was a probable diagnosis, they still weren’t sure.
In the beginning of this whole situation I thought it was something that a pill and a day of rest would cure but as time went by and the pain kept increasing I thought death had come for me. yes, I did feel as if I was going to die but I wasn’t ready so I found myself soliloquizing continuously about my dreams and how I was looking forward to the future. I even remember getting upset for a moment at God for giving me all these dreams and then letting death stand in my doorway before I achieved any of those dreams. A whole day of both internal and external positive speech got me to the point of utter believe that no matter what happened I was going to live.
Weeks passed, the pain was more manageable but I was still bed ridden. For someone who is independent and very private; it was quite devastating to lean on people for every single thing. I mean I am extremely grateful for my mother, she was there from the beginning to the end but it was gut wrenching when I couldn’t sit on my own because my back muscles couldn’t hold me up, so I had to be held like a child or when I couldn’t even brush my teeth or feed myself or lay on the bed myself or bathe myself. Like I said before, I am extremely grateful for everyone that took care of me but it did not change the fact that it was extremely difficult to see myself in that position; but as time went on I learned to see all the little things we all take for granted when we have complete health and accepting help became easier for me but not without the overflow of gratitude for all other things good. Indeed I learnt to be grateful for everything no matter how little, which was very important in my recovery journey.
Four months passed, I was better and using a walker to get around. I was discharged from the hospital but things did not progress further. I almost panicked wondering if I was ever going to walk on my own again but I didn’t allow myself enter that rabbit hole. Eventually my parents brought me to London for further medical treatment, to see if there was anything the doctors back home missed and after another round of tests and scans I was directed to a Rheumatologist and a Physiotherapists (Richmond Stace).
During my first meeting with Richmond Stace I quickly understood that this was not a physical fight; it was more mental than physical. “The fact that there is pain doesn’t mean that there is injury” he said, these words changed my life because from then on I started to try myself. I developed the courage to believe I could not just walk again but run and dance and do everything I loved to do before I became ill. Some days where extremely harder than others but my self- speech helped me through those days. If I had an emotional issue I could not overcome on my own, I spoke to Richmond about it and he would tell me what to do; it made me understand that I didn’t always have to internalize everything but since I’m the kind of person who doesn’t really like talking to others about my innermost thoughts I found a way that always helps and that is journaling. I don’t write every day but I write when I am battling something that won’t just go away; and it helps every single time.
The days went by, I kept doing my exercises and mental imaging, some days I would think I was getting better and others made it look as if I was going back to square one. I read a lot, everything I read was kind of like an expansion of the things that Richmond was teaching me and it was a wonderful blend. The time for us to go back home was near and I was able to take at most five painful steps a day. I remember the day my mother booked our tickets back home, she requested for assistance and it upset me so much because it made me feel as if I was not going to get better before we go back. I was going to go back home still using the walker and nothing was going to change but things did change. Two weeks before we went home, I got up one morning, looked at my walker which was always beside my bed and ignored it without realizing that I was ignoring the thing that helped me get around; I got up with very minimal pains, I walked to the sitting room and never looked back. I screamed for my mum and the moment she saw me walking with only two legs, she fell on the floor and began to cry. It was a very emotional day but all was not over.
I was walking by myself, every one including my doctors where very happy for me but what I did not realize was that I couldn’t jump back into my usual life. Richmond gave me exercises to do but I decided to take the exercises further and I tried to run a short distance. Guess what? I couldn’t run at all. I tried to jump and it was painful as hell. Walking around for more than an hour was so painful I felt like using a walker again. I got very upset because I felt that I was going to look healthy and not be completely healthy. I was still going to need a wheelchair at the airport, look for the elevator or escalator wherever I went. I was so upset that I cried for a whole hour in the bathroom and when I was done I cleaned my tears and did the exercises Richmond told me to do in the first place and I haven’t stopped since.
So, I have come to the end of this long story and these are the lessons I have learnt so far.
1) In all things give thanks
2) Help is good, no man is an island. Accept help and be grateful for it
3) Read, knowledge is power
4) Meditate, it is the best medicine
5) Visualize your health goal
6) Persevere
7) Do what your doctor says especially if your doctor is Richmond Stace
8) Laugh, laugh as hard as you can. It’s better to laugh than to cry
9) Never ask. “Why me?” and if you do, your answer should always be “because I am special and highly favoured”.
Am I able to run now? Nope, am I able to dance? Just a little but I can jump without pain and I can walk for three hours straight without pain. I am not there yet but is anyone ever “there”? and besides what is “there”? Where is “there” anyway? I have come to believe that this life is a journey and as long as I am happy in each moment and doing the things that will improve me then “there” for me is actually now. I hope this encourages you to keep pushing for something better. Your life is your life, only you can do the things it takes to be better.
Signing out! Anonymous.
understand pain 