Twice I have pulled out of events this year. It does not feel good.
A deep disappointment and regular waves of regret. There seem to be reminders everywhere.
In May I stopped halfway into a 100k race. I also took a wrong turn that meant I had to run 12k back to the start — 62k total. Should have just kept going, part of me said.
This month I pulled out at 90k along the South Downs Way. Should have slept for a bit and then kept going, bit by bit, part of me said.
That part of me always chimes in.
How to deal with the disappointment?
Three ideas to share with you.
1. Take a perspective
Zooming out, I quickly realised that whilst it matters, there are other considerations.
When you look at the bigger picture of your life and those around you, how does that feel?
2. In that moment, you made the best decision
There are always circumstances. Some things we cannot control and some we can.
What were the circumstances surrounding that decision and action?
What could you control?
3. The art of setting one’s expectations
I spend a lot of time working with people on the skill and art and practice of setting expectations.
When we set them too high and what actually happens comes in low, we feel bad.
Or we push on when we should stop.
Neither works.
What is realistic? You can certainly be positive in as much as you focus on what you can do, but tied with what is possible.
Positive realism.
If you think it might be possible, break the task into chunks and take it steps by step – achievable steps.
Your ideas
There are many other ways to deal with disappointment.
Of course, it is inevitable in life. So having skills to deal with it is better than being surprised.
What do you do to deal with your disappointment?
Do share your thoughts so others can benefit.
RS
understand pain 